Culture Bunker

Don’t take this to mean everyone should go out tomorrow and start tripping balls on mushrooms, but… well, that’s not such a bad idea. Anyone interested should pick up a copy of Aldous Huxley’s “Island” to read how a drug like mushrooms can play a significant role in right of passage or religious rituals.

Spain won their first major trophy in 44 years by beating Germany 1-0 on Sunday. Fernando Torres, who evidently enjoys eating rats because he joined Liverpool FC, scored the game’s only goal. The runners-up, Germany were captained by fieldmarshall Michael Ballack, a man who has now come in 2nd four times this season: Premier League, Champions League, Carling Cup and now European Championship. If Ballack wasn’t such a bully and cheapshot artist, I might feel sorry for him.

This Sunday the European Championship will draw to a close in what hopefully will be an open, end to end, frenetic match for the history books.

The key for the Germans is getting Michael Ballack to feed Lukas Podolski the ball, and covering/smothering the midfield trickery of Cesc Fabregas. Spain sound like the better team on paper, and they haven’t won a big trophy since 1968, so they’re certainly up for it. If Torres finds his scoring boots, the Germans are in trouble.

Prediction: Germany 1 Spain 3

Both matches went to penalties after a 120 minute stalemate. Spain deservedly saw off Italy, as they had the lion’s share of possession, shots, and chances. Italy sat back in classic boring fashion, creating no chances and relying on the odd counter-attack to Luca Toni. Toni should be awarded the Oscar for his diving and flopping theatrics.

The final four teams are now Spain, Turkey, Germany and Russia. 3 of 4 group winners were knocked out in their first match, leaving Spain the only country to advance.

Pre-tournament favorites Germany romped to an early 2-0 lead inside of the half hour against a Portugal side struggling to find any kind of rhythm.

Portugal is infamous for recovering in the dying moments of a match, and came roaring back with the introduction of Nani. With his Man Utd teammate Ronaldo, the duo carved open Germany’s defense twice. The determined Germans, however, nicked a third goal to send Portugal crashing out of the tournament. 

So much for the Holland v. Portugal final I was expecting!

Les Blues just didn’t show up for their match against Italy. The Dutch team beat Romania, meaning whichever side won would progress to the last 8. The Italians have not at all been playing well, but against the French they like spritely and assertive. Quel dommage!

Germany face Portugal today. 

Space Shuttle Discovery completed its 14 day mission and returned to earth safely on Saturday. check out this link to “meet” the 8 member crew. All from today’s NY Times. Who knows what they are doing up there on the $100 Billion space station, but I look at it as baby steps for whatever is necessary to finally open up colonization of other planets. We are never going to get off this rock if we don’t have an active, robust space program. 

Holland is clearly finding their stride, after having pounded the hapless Italians 3-0, they gave France a right tonking in their 4-1 romp today in Berne. My money was on Holland at the start of this tournament and none of the other countries look close to dissuading me from that view.

The Bard of Barking, Billy Bragg, is on tour supporting his new release, “Mr. Love & Justice.” He was in Los Angeles on Tuesday, at the historic El Rey Theater. For this tour, Billy is back to basics with just a guitar, a big nose and a Cockney accent. If you haven’t seen him, he’s an awesome live show. Half the “set” is generally filled with loopy anecdotes and lengthy empowerment exhortations that make you feel renewed, spiritualized, and revived. Billy Bragg’s new album features a couple songs that rank up with his best, including “If You Ever Leave,” and “O Freedom,” and hearing these songs live makes them all the more vibrant. Go to Billy Bragg’s website for tour dates.

The smart money was on Italy to beat Holland, as the Dutch had not beaten Italy since 1978. Smart money be damned! - as Holland thrashed an old, slow, subdued Italy 3-0. Goals from Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Giovanni von Bronckhorst and Wesley Sneijder. Someone needs to ask the Italy manager why he went with AC Milan’s entire midfield — yeah, that AC Milan that did not even qualify for the Champions League.

The first-half controversy stemming from Van Nistelrooy’s opening goal requires everyone to consult their rule books. If a defender stumbles off the pitch, are they still “active” and playing an attacker onside? The answer is “yes.” It’s different if a player is injured and comes off, or comes back on without the ref’s permission, but think of what would happen if a defender hugged the byeline and merely stepped off when a ball was played through. Result: goal.

Van Nistelrooy is as lethal as ever. Sorry you got rid of him now, Fergie? To be honest, Alex Ferguson was a cunt to Van Nistelrooy, leaving him out of the Carling Cup final, banning him from Roy Keane’s testimonial (a match played to honor a certain player featuring their friends and various legends), benching him for 6 consecutive league matches (while that donkey Louis Saha got to play), and finally benching him on the final match of the season. Prior to this spiteful, assholery from Fergie, Van Nistelrooy was the leading scorer by several goals, and his absence allowed Thierry Henry to overtake him, so Fergie in essence robbed him of another award.

And all because Van Nistelrooy, as the marksman ne plus ultra, had a row with Cristiano Ronaldo in training. Remember Ronaldo before he was the Wonderboy? Remember him dribbling into the corner, falling over and shooting into Row Z?

After all the hoopla of Cristiano Ronaldo’s impressive 42 goal season, let’s not forget that Van Nistelrooy bettered that tally with 44 goals… and he was the leading scorer in the Champions League…three separate times, and was the top scorer in three different European leagues. He bagged 150 goals in 200 United appearances, an amazing tally. If Van Nistelrooy was still in the Manchester United side, we would have won everything at a canter, because a 30+ goals a year striker is exactly what is missing from the current Man Utd side, and is exactly what Fergie is shopping for right now.

And how is dear lad Ronaldo repaying Fergie’s unswerving devotion that saw us ship to Real Madrid one of the best strikers in the world? Well, now Ronaldo wants to join Real Madrid himself. 

Two good shows coming up at Gallery 1988.

Brandi Milne’s solo show opens Friday, June 13th at 7pm.

Matt Dangler’s first solo show opens Thursday, June 19th, 7pm.

Can’t find an image link yet, but check out their site.

The USA men’s soccer team held the #1 team in the world to a draw in a pulsating encounter before 80,000 fans at Giants Stadium on Sunday. The USA vs. Argentina match saw us finally turn up and show what we can do, unlike recent beatings by England and Spain. This scoreless draw represents an achievement for the USA. MOTM (man of the match) easily was goalkeeper Tim Howard with 7 first-half saves.

Due to what appears to be referee error in the 71st minute, USA’s Pablo Mastroeni was sent off for a 2nd yellow card in a case of mistaken identity. Argentina were unable to capitalize on being a man up, and then themselves went down to 10 men when monkey of the match Javier Mascherano clobbered Landon Donovan with studs showing in the 86th minute. Anyone who has seen Mascherano play for his club Liverpool knows that he is a stupid monkey of the first order, a devious little pest who loves a late tackle or a dirty foul.

Coach Bob Bradley got some things right this time around, as the USA looked a completely different side from the one who faced England a couple weeks back in a toothless encounter. Overall I think we were near excellent with spells of real menace. Had we not been wrongly reduced to 10 men, we could have won it. One question for Bob Bradley is, where was Joze Altidore? That’s who should be up top, not Eddie Johnson.

Michael Bradley, Clint Dempsey, Eddie Lewis, and Landon Donovan all are performing at a level just below what is needed to turn the USA into a real footballing powerhouse. Argentina, as the #1 ranked team, was expected to run roughshod over us with a cricket score, and this was a side featuring Barcelona’s wunderkind Lionel Messi in attack, along with Real Madrid’s Gabby Heinze, and Liverpool’s Javier “the Monkey” Mascherano; it wasn’t their youth team. 

There has been talk for decades of the emerging USA, awakening the sleeping beast, and tonight’s match showed that we’re finally waking up. We had 8 shots to their 9, and hit the crossbar early in the second half - almost stealing a win! So close! Good job, lads!

Special Praise: Tim Howard, Danny Califf, Heath Pearce.

Scorn: Freddie Adu (clear the ball, just clear it when you’re in our penalty area), Eddie Johnson (pace but no brains, can’t stay onside), Oguchi Onyewu (takes naps when he should be tracking back).

Robert Buck’s new show opens June 12 at CRG Gallery, 535 West 22nd Street, 2nd Floor, NYC. For examples of Buck’s work, go here. 

Two great young artists Dan May and Nathan Spoor, are opening this weekend at CoproNason:  2525 Michigan Ave. T5, Santa Monica, Ca 90404. For examples of Dan May’s work, go here, and for Nathan Spoor, go here.

LA Galaxy nearly gave up a 3 goal cushion on Saturday night as they allowed the Colorado Rapids to contest the match with two second half goals. Pires, Buddle and Allen scored for the Galaxy. Here’s the match report from Marcus:

The game started off well with Pires knocking one in and then led to a first half dominated by Galaxy. I tell you, Beckham just looked so good last night and dribbled his way past many potential tackles….very cool. And of course, his passing to the goal area was cool too. All in all though, Galaxy did well with a poor performance from Rapids strikers really…..and it showed….in the second half, they found a second wind and breezed past the Galaxy back four. Ruiz came on in the second half and to be honest, looked a little lost, missed many opportunities and didn’t shine like Buddle did. And then there was the red card incident with Gordon. Just before the whistle on the first half, it looked like Gordon stepped on Erpen (what the f#$k@!) so he got the red card…but then they replayed the tackle on the screen and we saw Gordon being kicked in the groin to inspire the ’stomp’. Another card this time it was given to Erpen! so for the rest of the game, both teams were down by a man each. Galaxy deserved to wind with their mid field being quite strong when inspired, though their defence last night was a bit shaky. Oh yes, you know the yellow coated security that surrounded the pitch during the game….to protect the players?? Well some guy jumps onto the field and runs across to hug Beckham……these security guys were sooooo clueless and took guys from the benches to intercept the goon. Have you seen this before? blimey…..still a win 3-2 to Galaxy - even though at half time it was 3-0! eeesshh. That Clark guy for Rapids played well.
—Marcus

Weezer is back with album #6, the red album, which follows the color sequence of Star Wars trading cards (blue, green, red, yellow). In simple terms, this record is hooky, catchy, witty, and a lot of fun - I highly recommend it.

The Weezer mindset has evolved and devolved over the years, from geeky outsiders to defiant rockers, to Internet misfits, and back. My initial exposure to Weezer was when Chris Shiflett (then of Green Thumb) hyped them pretty hard to me at the Dragonfly. At this time, there was a new wave of Rancid-styled bands and a rediscovery of all things truly punk, and I was caught up in it too. I just was not listening to pop rock. Then, a short while later, my friend Steve Coulter (ex-One Handed Readers, Wonderfuls, Bookmobile, Ridel High, Tsar) joined a band with Kevin Ridel and Steve LeRoy, and changed their name to “Ridel High.”

Kevin had been in bands with Rivers back in Connecticut, and another of Kevin’s friends, Justin Fisher, also played in those bands and was out here in LA pursuing rock dreams. So via Kevin, I met Justin, and Justin still lived over at the “Say It Ain’t So House” on Amherst where that video was shot and where Weezer lived while getting their act together. At Amherst parties over the years I had many memorable (but always strange) encounters with Rivers. If you’ve seen the video, where the band is playing is actually a narrow garage/laundry room, and it was custom at Amherst parties to have equipment plugged in and ready for all comers, and that’s actually what made the parties so interesting - anyone could jump on an instrument and jam.

At one such party, after the “Pinkerton” album had stalled out Weezer’s career and no one seemed to care anymore, I was playing bass to some song I didn’t know (and I’m no bass player), and then Justin showed me the bassline to “Only In Dreams,” from the s/t “blue album,” and whoever was around ran through the song. Most of the time everyone at the parties could fake their way through a song on at least one instrument, but there were also dozens of people who could literally shred. Despite that, no one ever made fun of someone sucking on an instrument (thanks guys!)

There was generally a “no Weezer songs” rule at the parties, since the people who lived there had spent literally years having to listen to them practice. A few minutes after we finished the song, Rivers showed up, and thankfully did not hear us laying waste to his song. Whoever was on guitar relinquished it so Rivers could jam, and I was stuck there on bass - not being a bass player, not being a jam musician, but not wanting to miss my moment of rocking with Rivers.

Rivers mentioned a Nirvana song, and I tried playing along, but I was hopeless, and Rivers got visibly annoyed with my inability to follow him. He looked intensely at me and said, “just follow me!” and waved the guitar neck at me, like I didn’t grasp the concept, because I didn’t. Now I just wanted to slink out of there. Matt Sharp/Scott, I feel your pain. Rivers asked if I could play some “Bleach” songs…

I grabbed the initiative. “How about ‘Oh, The Guilt’” I said. And folks, I promise you, Rivers’ eyes lit up like a pinball machine. He had never heard of it, since it was only a bootleg song at the time, but I figured, couldn’t the guy behind Weezer get ahold of the same bootlegs as me? I then peppered him with a few more “rare” Nirvana songs like “Moist Vagina” and “I Hate Myself And Want To Die.” Rivers was interested but I couldn’t very well teach him guitar parts to songs I couldn’t play myself, could I? So I gave the bass to a competent player, probably Roger Marinelli (another Connecticut refugee), Justin was on drums, and they cranked out a song.

It was kind of an in-joke in these situations that all of the Weezer friend transplants were heavy metallers back in the day, and also had fixations on Rush. After the first song, they called for requests, and I offered up “Red Barchetta,” which they duly launched into and performed note-perfect, as if they’d been rehearsing it for weeks.

In those days, Rivers was kind of in his own headspace (ahem…not like now) and he didn’t really like to engage anyone in conversation. He’d show up at a party, hang around for 20 minutes and leave without saying goodbye to anyone. On his way out this time, he found me in the living room and sat by me, with a very interested look on his face. “Dude, those Nirvana songs, where can I hear them?” So I made a tape (sorry RIAA) of about 30 non-album Nirvana songs and bootlegs and had Kevin give it to him. About a month later, I got a message from Rivers on my answering machine that said, in part, “Dude, that Nirvana tape changed my life.” Everything else is personal stuff for my memories only, so there!

Weezer records remind me of those days and those times. I still see a lot of the guys from then but many have left town or gone underground. Adam Orth, Steve Graff, Steve LeRoy, Roger Marinelli, Rick Bolander, Dawn & Joy (your two favorite dish liquids), Tricia, Dawnelle, Annika - the familiar faces.

Over the years, Weezer music has been inspired, irresistable, and insipid. You get a lot of variations in quality, but that seems sorted out on the red album. I say it’s their best since “Pinkerton.” A lot of people might think Rivers is joking around in his songs and they are not really as confessional and personal as he suggests, but I’m here to tell you he’s being honest. It’s great to have an album where the quirky side of Rivers is balanced by his fun, social side.

Just wanted to remind everyone that MANCHESTER UNITED won both the Premier League and the Champions League this year! Suck it, Chelsea! I’ve watched the Champions League final 4 times now, and I love my team. Scholes, Van Der Sar, Carrick, Ronaldo, Giggs, Nani, Evra, Anderson, Rooney, Ferdinand, Brown, Tevez, Vidic and Hargreaves were lions! This is our first Champions League win since 1999. What a great end to a fantastic season! Up the Red Devils!

This picture taken during the epic struggle between Barack Obama (on the left) and Hillary Clinton (on the right), reveals the reality of the entire campaign.

Last night Barack Obama won the Democratic nomination. It was an historic event. For the first time, a major party’s candidate is a black man. This single statement to the world does more to further our cause as a country of hope and equality than all 8 years of Bill Clinton’s presidency did.

Yet HRC refused to concede, and had the shocking arrogance to have Terry McAuliffe announce her as “the next President of the USA.” He fucking wishes. She fucking wishes! The truth is, HRC’s campaign was deader than fried chicken months ago. Why she kept in, is open for debate, but one can surmise from statements like her reminding the world of RFK’s June murder, that HRC would prefer to sniff around the periphery of the campaign in case Obama gets picked off and she can have first dibs on the sweet meats.

Frankly, it’s disheartening and disgusting. I have defended the Clintons on dozens of occasions. I even bought Bill’s written self-blowjob, “My Life” (but I haven’t read it). And now, after this campaign, after Bill equating Obama’s campaign to the symbolic blowhard Jesse Jackson, HRC talking about dodging sniper fire in Bosnia and then refusing to admit she was talking out of her ass when video footage surfaced, and on and on.

After all this time, after being dragged through the mud during Bill’s impeachment, I just want the Clintons to go away. Oh wait, I meant, I want them to shut the fuck up - and then go away. HRC was on history’s doorstep, as the first viable female contender, but instead of opening the door she lit a bag of poop on the porch and ran away.

We should be proud that our country has finally served up a black man and woman as candidates, to go along with the perennial insane elderly male honky codger. The shine is off this victory, though, because HRC still won’t concede. What absolute fucking lack of class is it for her to say she’s the better candidate - after she lost - and to ask her supporters to go to her website (www.delusionalnarcissist.com) and tell her what to do. There was no box marked “fuck off and die”, so it’s hardly going to be a fair vote - just like Michigan!

Still, the day belongs to Obama. He shows that anyone can achieve anything in this country. He can singlehandedly do more to end racism than anyone else in our nation’s history. Plus, he’s smart, funny and good-looking. He’s a born leader and he inspires people to care again, to get involved and to believe in the power of change. Obama can start the change by sending HRC back to the Senate without any promises of any post in his administration.

You may have noticed that our site went kablooey last week when Globat’s servers died. Our archives are all in digital limbo. We’re trying to figure out where backups are and will hopefully have a way of linking to them soon.

In the meantime, some low-key music notes.

This past week I’ve had several records in rotation:

1. SPIRITUALIZED - Songs In A + E

2. BILLY BRAGG - Mr. Love & Justice

3. NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS - Dig, Lazarus Dig!!!

4. VAMPIRE WEEKEND - s/t

5. ELVIS COSTELLO - Momofuku

Today also featured Charlie Parker (at Cafe Society), Roxy Music (Stranded, For Your Pleasure), Genesis (Foxtrot - this is before Phil Collins!), and REM (Reckoning). Old stuff to round off the palate.

Anyway, the new Spiritualized, Elvis Costello, Nick Cave and Billy Bragg records are all highly recommended. Vampire Weekend I’m not so sure about. They sound like Squeeze with Bow Wow Wow’s guitar player (who was great, btw). A little boring and preppy, but maybe it’ll grow.

The Spiritualized album is more like “Pure Phase” in its conception (several repeated short musical interludes) and less obviously about heroin addiction than normal. The new songs sound a bit like “Any Way That You Want Me,” but then again, I’ve only heard it a few times. I will say this, though, Spiritualized’s music always takes awhile to sink in with me. Months after I have an album by them I will suddenly “hear” it for the first time. They’re a brilliant band, so buy it. This album was 5 years in the making and delayed because “somehow” Jason Pierce “…contracted advanced periorbital cellulitiswith bilateral pneumonia with rapid deterioration requiring intensive care and c-pap for type 1 respiratory failure.” With his healthy lifestyle I find that hard to believe. “A + E” is a lot more contemplative than “Amazing Grace” but less Gospel than “Let It Come Down.” Its sounds are growing every day and I imagine soon I’ll be blown away by it, like my delayed response to “Let It Come Down.”

Nick Cave seems re-invigorated by his stint as “Grinderman” and the new album has far more energy and rock in it than you’ve heard since… maybe “Your Funeral My Trial.” Good thing, I don’t know how many more ballads we need from Cavey. The best new detail is hearing Cavey basically spit out his lyrics like he doesn’t give a toss anymore, a lot of attitude and piss ‘n’ vinegar. He’s also penning some great lyrics like, “inside her jeans she had the jawbone of an… ASSSS!” I’ve been on Team Nick Cave since I was 18, so with each album it usually feels like a letter from some old friend traveling around the world and you can’t really relate to what they’re up to, but it’s nice to hear from them anyway. This new record, is smoking. It’s better than anything he’s done in years, looser, less pretentious.

Elvis Costello and Billy Bragg are kind of rowing along in the same boat now as elder statesman of rock music. If Tom Waits had released a new album this month it would be a perfect trifecta. It’s a rare embarrassment of riches when Costello and Bragg both bring out quality albums within days of each other. Where Costello has played around all sorts of styles in various guises and lately settled on an American rock sound, Bragg has slowly matured into an American rock sound, particularly with his exposure to Wilco during the Mermaid Ave stuff. Costello is probably 10 years older than Bragg, and in terms of sheer quality of output, of daring attempts, heroic near-misses and happy accidents, Costello can’t be beat. He has consistently been one of the most enthralling musicians and lyricists in cool music for the past 30 years. Wow. The new album was banged out over a 3 week session in between guesting on another album and this fast and free technique blew out the valves and got the Costello machine up and running fast without any production bullshit and studio second-guessing wankery. On initial listens, “Momofuku” is right around “Brutal Youth” territory, my 4th or 5th favourite Costello album.

Billy Bragg is a bloke who seems to have no end to his wit and sensibilities.  In concert, his between song banter sounds so reasonable and assuring, it’s like a tent revival for lefties. One thing Bragg has learned to do differently on is new material is to really lay back into the vocals of the songs. His voice has gotten velvety and his accent worn down. If you spend an extra 3 bucks, you can get an edition of this album with a “bonus” disc featuring Bragg performing all of the songs old school with just an electric guitar, 3 chords and the truth. Well worth your cash.

No more meaningless friendlies, or at least, no more loaning of our star players for useless paid holidays for footballers. Meaningless, because alas, England is not going to the Euro 2008 competition, having been shown up as a mediocre footballing side under Steve McClaren.

Case in point: today’s England v Trinidad match. David Beckham captained the side, so nice one, David, that makes 102 England caps. However, the team that pays his bills, who received him last season all banged up and unplayable, is the Galaxy! We were in first place but got stomped by Toronto on Saturday night, 2-0. It also doesn’t help that we have starters like Mike Randolph (see picture) who are only 3 inches tall.

We lost to Toronto, it bears repeating, the team with the worst league record last season, and a big part of it is Mr Golden Balls was larking in the Caribbean instead of helping us win. 

What is England coach Fabio Capello on about? Does he really think Beckham, who will be 36 in the next World Cup, will really be playing wide right in an England side ahead of Bentley, Joe Cole, Aaron Lennon, Shaun Wright-Phillips and others? Is he nuts? No doubt Beckham is still a master of free kicks and adds a huge amount to the Galaxy, but  to the England side he’s merely an ambassador at this stage of his career, a bit player, a talisman. Or does Capello really think he’s going to tune up his side in matches against the USA and Trinidad?

Alexi Lalas, if you’re listening, you don’t have to release players for friendlies. Got it?